Quit Slackin....

On the cusp of the biggest of birthdays - the big 40 - I have decided to quit slackin and make shit happen.

Don't think I haven't decided this before.  Because I have.

But I am finally tired of myself.  Note that I am not tired of my life, of my friends, of my family or of my circumstances.  I am finally just tired of myself.  Of my laziness.  Of my victim mentality.  Of my constant need for praise, approval and attention.

I am tired of talking.  And let's not mince words here...other people are tired of my talking too.

So, I will quit slackin.  In so many ways.

This blog will chronicle my journey out of self-pity, anxiety, frustration, hopelessness and a constant grappling for meaning and purpose that has become an epidemic in our society.  All that grappling, talking, therapy, eating, shopping, purging and whining has left us, ironically, empty-handed and empty-hearted.  That is precisely where I stand today:  a woman who has 'everything' and who appreciates nothing.  Not only do I fail to appreciate the bounty of blessings in my life, but I make those around me miserable with my constant ailments, whining, whinging, analysis, neuroticism and complaints.

It ends now.

As I sit here in bed, at 9:30 in the morning, while my husband is hard at work and my kids are studying in school, I know in my heart that it is time to get the fuck up.  Literally and figuratively, in every sense of the term, in both mind and body.  I have to simply get up.  Get out of this bed.  Get out of these pajamas.  Put the coffee cup down, shut off Tumblr, open the windows, put on my clothes, brush my teeth and get to work.

I have no answers.  I don't know if doing this will help ease the profound sense I have that something is not right, that there is a hole in my gut and that I can't quite make out what anything means.

But I know one thing for sure:  sitting in this bed, wondering if another Pinterest quote will finally secure my mental stability, isn't cutting it.

And so, I am off.  I am up.  I am moving on.

I am going to quit slackin and make shit happen.